Tuesday, February 22, 2011

February 22, 2007...

Have four years passed? How have I survived losing you, my love? I have survived because knowing you has helped me be strong.

I have come to where I look forward to the future, from time to time, because I know you would want me to be happy to be alive.

I, like so many who knew you, say 'What would Mike do' when the going gets tough.

How can I stay in the home you and I shared? Because here, we were kind of separate people. You knew I had a laundry list of things I would like to change in you, but when I asked about me...you'd say 'Nothing worth mentioning'...

It was when we traveled and sought out French restaurants, the smallest English Pub and brought along things to make our trips 'exciting'..that is when I truly miss you, Mike. Who else, when in front of the White Hart Pub in England, would joke while I was filming it, say 'Here we are at the White Fart...

I have found a wonderful therapist (through my cats, that would make you smile) and she has helped me be happy here, to treasure what we shared...and knows I can make a life for myself, even when I don't want to move on...

and know that whatever memories I make in the future, that a part of you will be there, too. I can't sit out on my mom's deck without feeling you there; I can't make that drive back and forth to work each day without remember us doing it together, me dozing-you driving; I can't hold a kitten in my hands without thinking of you sharing that joy with me...

When I see myself now, I see me...not me and you as I assumed my future would include. Funny, part of me married you for security...and 2 months later, you lost your job...

I see the cats, and I see you with them and the friends who, even those who never met you, feel as if they have, because you are here, with me...

You bought me my dream car, a Jaguar XJS

and then we went to Coventry together; You bought your first Canali suit at Harrod's and we were at the Helston Furry Dance together...because we loved each other, we shared the good and the bad, and were stronger for it...

You said I was the best cat breeder you had ever met, still it took me many years to add your name to 'my' cattery...when we passed the 5 year mark together (as long as any of my previous relatiionships had lasted), I thought we would grow old together...

You surprised me with a trip to NYC for Christmas, and every time I visit there, you are there with me...and I am trying to make new memories of things we hadn't shared, or I wish you were there.

We made a snow cat, we traveled around the country, making a show cat, we were made for each other and others saw that in us, too...

Here is the blog page that a friend made the week that Mike died...One page speaks volumes and friends shared about the man they knew.

Mike's Memorial

Mike will always be 58 to me and as I turn 59...I think of how we all remember Marilyn Monroe as young and of that song, Forever Young...sometimes I feel old without you, Mike...

I will love you, always...I will miss you by my side always...I want you to know that, I know you knew that...

I didn't do a post on this day last year...

but did in 2009 and blogging is a journal and shows me to where I have come...


  1. (((Teri)))

    Please know I'm sending you love and Light today, always.

    Blessings and Peace.


  2. Teri, you are a strong woman and an inspiration.
    Keeping you in my thoughts today.

  3. Teri, I send you warm and happy hugs as a testament to yours and Mike's love which truly will and has lasted. It always will, my friend.

    You and he are still a unit because he is still there and strong in your heart.

    Hugs and love, my good friend.

  4. Hello Terry,
    I'm glad you're back. You're truly an inspiration and a wonderful woman. You were both blessed to have had found each other. A story like yours don't happen too often.

    God bless you.

  5. Oh Love. It's wonderful to see these pictures (tho sadly they are all small) and read your words. Your feelings both overt and in between are so poignant and moving. Sending you virtual hugs just isn't enough but I know soon enough I'll be able give you real hugs!

    That Woman

  6. What a beautiful remembrance. Mike will always be watching over you, and occupying that special place in your heart. We miss him too. You have a wonderful life ahead of you and a lot to give. I am sure Mike is happy you are keeping his bountiful spirit alive.

  7. Teri, this is a beautiful tribute to your husband. I'm sorry that you have lost him but in so many ways, you never will. Wishing you continued strength.

  8. Teri, you've proven that love this pure never ends. You are an awe-inspiring and wonderful human being. Such a gorgeous tribute to your love, and what an inspiration. Thank you for sharing Mike with us. That little totem is so precious to us and every day I think of you and Mike with love and prayers. OXO

  9. Thank you for sharing the beautiful pictures of the two of you.
    I know this was hard putting this together.
    You are a lovely friend, and I am glad to know you.
    I am not much of a Beatles freak and certainly thought John Lennon was an oddball but this quote is quite perfect -
    "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

    I just know that Mike is in a good place now, watching over you. I think he is pleased however not surprised by your fortitude.

    love and bonks and hugs

  10. As I read your words, & the sentiments seemed so directly from your heart/spirit/memory... it reminded me of how beautiful a partnership can be, & how it sucks that even in love one has to depart, leave, say farewell, leaving the other to dwell, to make sense of, to find a place to put it all, and to make peace with it.

    Methinks you are doing very well w/ that, my friend.

    One Love.


  11. ((Hugs)) to you my dear friend. What a poignant and heartfelt post this was. The pictures were worth a thousand words in themselves and showed the beauty and the love that resided there in your union.

    God Bless,

  12. I am teary eyed! Sounds like he was a really special guy!


I treasure your comments, and am glad you stopped by...
Comments are moderated on posts older than 1 day.